Penis Cupcakes

First...sorry, Mom.

Well, actually, I guess it doesn't matter because my mom hasn't quite managed to figure out how to read my blog, but I'd like be prepared if and when that day does ever come.

As I have mentioned before, I play trivia at a local bar almost every week with a group of friends. The particular bar doesn't serve food, so I started to bring some sort of baked good with me every week for my friends and I to snack on while play. Every week I try to bribe our Quizmaster into giving us extra points. It never works, but I guess it's still nice to share.

Every now and again the Quizmaster will announce a contest for the next week. The week before Valentine's Day he announced that he would give a prize to the person who brought in the best Valentine. While I actually despise Valentine's Day and pretty much refuse to recognize it, I knew I couldn't resist this one, because I had an awesome idea...penis cupcakes.

I used the same recipe as for the Vanilla Cupcakes with Vanilla Buttercream Frosting, but this time, I used some lovely penis molds instead of the normal muffin tin. But for the Quizmaster, I used food coloring to make his cupcake pink and used sparkly white icing to decorate. The results were amazing...and delicious.

And yes, I did win the prize for best Valentine! Here's a pic of me rocking the prize crown with my team:

Also, I really enjoyed going around asking people at the bar if they would like to eat a dick =)

Vanilla Cupcakes with Vanilla Buttercream Frosting

This weekend I helped plan a princess party (for adults, because I was way too much of a tomboy in my youth to have a princess party back then). I wanted to make cupcakes, but I wanted to make something simple. I finally found this recipe after quite a bit of looking. The recipe wasn't complicated and didn't require any weird ingredients. The original recipe yields 10 cupcakes, so I doubled the recipe, which worked out great.

The cool thing about making these vanilla cupcakes was that the batter and icing were both white, so I used food coloring to make the cake purple and the icing pink to make them as princessy as possible. My friend Angela then used some awesome princess sprinkles I brought to complete the decorating.

Here I am with friends Angela and Becca rocking some princess poses:

We were mimicking some of the poses behind us, but you can't see them so we kinda just look goofy.

Vanilla Cupcakes
(makes 20)
2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups sugar
6 tablespoons butter, at room temperature
1 cup + 2 tablespoons milk (preferably whole)
2 eggs
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
food coloring (optional)

Preheat oven to 375.

Combine flour, baking powder, salt, sugar and butter in a mixer on slow until the mixture is a sandy consistency. In a separate bowl, whisk together the eggs, vanilla and half of the milk and set aside. Slowly add the remaining half of the milk and beat until just incorporated. Now add the egg, vanilla and milk mixture to the mixer until just incorporated. Scrape the sides of the bowl and continue mixing until batter is smooth. Mix in food coloring to desired color, if desired. Spoon the batter into paper lined muffin tins, filling them about 2/3 full. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until the cake bounces back when touched. Let them cool for a few minutes and then set them out on a wire rack to cool completely before icing.

Vanilla Buttercream Frosting

4 cups sifted powdered sugar
10 tablespoons butter, at room temperature
4 tablespoons milk (preferably whole)
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
sprinkles for decoration (optional)
food coloring (optional)

Combine milk and vanilla in a small bowl and set aside. Beat powdered sugar and butter in a mixer at medium-slow speed until well mixed. Reduce speed. Add milk mixture to the sugar mixture a few teaspoons at a time until all ingredients have been incorporated. Increase speed to high. Continue mixing for about 5 minutes or until the frosting becomes light and fluffy. Mix in food coloring to desired color, if desired.

Top the completely cooled cupcakes with the frosting and add sprinkles or decorations as desired.

*I apologize for how terrible these pictures are. Because rum.

Maple Bacon Cupcakes with Maple Buttercream Icing

My husband's Birthday was last week. Per his request, I made Oatmeal Raisin Chocolate Chip Cookies. However, I had a lot of bacon left over from my Maple Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies, so I decided to surprise him with Maple Bacon Cupcakes. Also, because candles don't stick well into cookies. Also, because I was working from home due to another snowstorm (apparently I moved to the tundra and not Denver as I had originally thought) and needed something to do on my lunch break.

I found a high altitude recipe (yay!) on the interwebs and decided to give it a go. The recipe calls for the use of bacon grease, which is great if you are cooking the bacon immediately before you make the cupcakes, which I wasn't. Lucky for me, my husband has been saving bacon grease in a jar in the freezer (it's because it can't go down the drain in the sink, but I'm not sure what we're saving it for exactly...but in this case it worked out so I'm not complaining). I modified the recipe slightly based on my own tastes and because some of the measurements were a little confusing.

I love cupcakes, but I don't make them all that often, so I don't have any of the fancy tools for icing, so my cupcakes don't look all that impressive, but boy do they taste awesome! My husband, who normally doesn't like icing, really loved the Maple Buttercream.


Maple Bacon Cupcakes with Maple Buttercream Icing

Cupcake:
makes 12
 
1 1/4 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 1/2 tablespoons butter, softened
1 egg, room temperature
1/2 tablespoon bacon grease, solidified
1 tablespoon brown sugar
4 tablespoon maple syrup
1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons milk1/2 cup chopped bacon

Icing:

8 tablespoons butter

3 tablespoons maple syrup

1-1/2 cup of powdered sugar

Cupcake Directions:

Cook the bacon however you like (again, sorry, my husband is still not spilling the super secret awesome bacon recipe). You will need about 6 pieces. Save the bacon grease!

Sift together flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt.

Once the bacon grease solidifies, beat it with the butter until creamed. Beat in brown sugar and maple syrup. Add egg and beat until well combined.

Slowly add dry ingredients into wet ingredients. Beat in milk until smooth. Stir in the bacon.

Add the mix into the muffin pans, using cupcake liners.

Bake for 12-15 minutes and let cool before adding icing.

Icing Directions:
Beat ingredients on high until well combined. Add to cupcakes and then sprinkle on the remaining bacon bits.