Penis Cupcakes

First...sorry, Mom.

Well, actually, I guess it doesn't matter because my mom hasn't quite managed to figure out how to read my blog, but I'd like be prepared if and when that day does ever come.

As I have mentioned before, I play trivia at a local bar almost every week with a group of friends. The particular bar doesn't serve food, so I started to bring some sort of baked good with me every week for my friends and I to snack on while play. Every week I try to bribe our Quizmaster into giving us extra points. It never works, but I guess it's still nice to share.

Every now and again the Quizmaster will announce a contest for the next week. The week before Valentine's Day he announced that he would give a prize to the person who brought in the best Valentine. While I actually despise Valentine's Day and pretty much refuse to recognize it, I knew I couldn't resist this one, because I had an awesome idea...penis cupcakes.

I used the same recipe as for the Vanilla Cupcakes with Vanilla Buttercream Frosting, but this time, I used some lovely penis molds instead of the normal muffin tin. But for the Quizmaster, I used food coloring to make his cupcake pink and used sparkly white icing to decorate. The results were amazing...and delicious.

And yes, I did win the prize for best Valentine! Here's a pic of me rocking the prize crown with my team:

Also, I really enjoyed going around asking people at the bar if they would like to eat a dick =)

Vanilla Cupcakes with Vanilla Buttercream Frosting

This weekend I helped plan a princess party (for adults, because I was way too much of a tomboy in my youth to have a princess party back then). I wanted to make cupcakes, but I wanted to make something simple. I finally found this recipe after quite a bit of looking. The recipe wasn't complicated and didn't require any weird ingredients. The original recipe yields 10 cupcakes, so I doubled the recipe, which worked out great.

The cool thing about making these vanilla cupcakes was that the batter and icing were both white, so I used food coloring to make the cake purple and the icing pink to make them as princessy as possible. My friend Angela then used some awesome princess sprinkles I brought to complete the decorating.

Here I am with friends Angela and Becca rocking some princess poses:

We were mimicking some of the poses behind us, but you can't see them so we kinda just look goofy.

Vanilla Cupcakes
(makes 20)
2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups sugar
6 tablespoons butter, at room temperature
1 cup + 2 tablespoons milk (preferably whole)
2 eggs
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
food coloring (optional)

Preheat oven to 375.

Combine flour, baking powder, salt, sugar and butter in a mixer on slow until the mixture is a sandy consistency. In a separate bowl, whisk together the eggs, vanilla and half of the milk and set aside. Slowly add the remaining half of the milk and beat until just incorporated. Now add the egg, vanilla and milk mixture to the mixer until just incorporated. Scrape the sides of the bowl and continue mixing until batter is smooth. Mix in food coloring to desired color, if desired. Spoon the batter into paper lined muffin tins, filling them about 2/3 full. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until the cake bounces back when touched. Let them cool for a few minutes and then set them out on a wire rack to cool completely before icing.

Vanilla Buttercream Frosting

4 cups sifted powdered sugar
10 tablespoons butter, at room temperature
4 tablespoons milk (preferably whole)
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
sprinkles for decoration (optional)
food coloring (optional)

Combine milk and vanilla in a small bowl and set aside. Beat powdered sugar and butter in a mixer at medium-slow speed until well mixed. Reduce speed. Add milk mixture to the sugar mixture a few teaspoons at a time until all ingredients have been incorporated. Increase speed to high. Continue mixing for about 5 minutes or until the frosting becomes light and fluffy. Mix in food coloring to desired color, if desired.

Top the completely cooled cupcakes with the frosting and add sprinkles or decorations as desired.

*I apologize for how terrible these pictures are. Because rum.