Penis Cupcakes

First...sorry, Mom.

Well, actually, I guess it doesn't matter because my mom hasn't quite managed to figure out how to read my blog, but I'd like be prepared if and when that day does ever come.

As I have mentioned before, I play trivia at a local bar almost every week with a group of friends. The particular bar doesn't serve food, so I started to bring some sort of baked good with me every week for my friends and I to snack on while play. Every week I try to bribe our Quizmaster into giving us extra points. It never works, but I guess it's still nice to share.

Every now and again the Quizmaster will announce a contest for the next week. The week before Valentine's Day he announced that he would give a prize to the person who brought in the best Valentine. While I actually despise Valentine's Day and pretty much refuse to recognize it, I knew I couldn't resist this one, because I had an awesome idea...penis cupcakes.

I used the same recipe as for the Vanilla Cupcakes with Vanilla Buttercream Frosting, but this time, I used some lovely penis molds instead of the normal muffin tin. But for the Quizmaster, I used food coloring to make his cupcake pink and used sparkly white icing to decorate. The results were amazing...and delicious.

And yes, I did win the prize for best Valentine! Here's a pic of me rocking the prize crown with my team:

Also, I really enjoyed going around asking people at the bar if they would like to eat a dick =)

Blondies

My favorite blondie's favorite treat is blondies, so naturally, when her Birthday came around, I had to make them for her. I'd never made them before, and there wasn't recipe in any of my books, so I searched the interwebs to find a suitable recipe (or just did a Google search and clicked on a few links). I've had good luck in the past with Hersey's recipes, so I decided to give this one a go.

I don't really have much else to say about this. I already talked about the epic Princess Birthday party that took place...oh, oh, oh! I know! At said princess party there was an awesome piñata! Because, let's be honest, what party is a party without a piñata? Here's some pictures of the blondie Birthday girls having at it:

We didn't need blindfolds. Because alcohol.

Blondies

2 cups + 2 tablespoons flour
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup butter, softened
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1/4 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups mini semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350.

In a small bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. In a mixer, blend together butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs, milk and vanilla and beat well. Slowly add the dry ingredients, a little at a time, until everything is combined. Stir in chocolate chips. Spread mixture into a greased and floured 9x13 glass pan. Bake for 27 - 32 minutes. Let cool in pan on wire rack before cutting.

Sorry for lack of blondie pictures. Because alcohol.

Vanilla Cupcakes with Vanilla Buttercream Frosting

This weekend I helped plan a princess party (for adults, because I was way too much of a tomboy in my youth to have a princess party back then). I wanted to make cupcakes, but I wanted to make something simple. I finally found this recipe after quite a bit of looking. The recipe wasn't complicated and didn't require any weird ingredients. The original recipe yields 10 cupcakes, so I doubled the recipe, which worked out great.

The cool thing about making these vanilla cupcakes was that the batter and icing were both white, so I used food coloring to make the cake purple and the icing pink to make them as princessy as possible. My friend Angela then used some awesome princess sprinkles I brought to complete the decorating.

Here I am with friends Angela and Becca rocking some princess poses:

We were mimicking some of the poses behind us, but you can't see them so we kinda just look goofy.

Vanilla Cupcakes
(makes 20)
2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups sugar
6 tablespoons butter, at room temperature
1 cup + 2 tablespoons milk (preferably whole)
2 eggs
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
food coloring (optional)

Preheat oven to 375.

Combine flour, baking powder, salt, sugar and butter in a mixer on slow until the mixture is a sandy consistency. In a separate bowl, whisk together the eggs, vanilla and half of the milk and set aside. Slowly add the remaining half of the milk and beat until just incorporated. Now add the egg, vanilla and milk mixture to the mixer until just incorporated. Scrape the sides of the bowl and continue mixing until batter is smooth. Mix in food coloring to desired color, if desired. Spoon the batter into paper lined muffin tins, filling them about 2/3 full. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until the cake bounces back when touched. Let them cool for a few minutes and then set them out on a wire rack to cool completely before icing.

Vanilla Buttercream Frosting

4 cups sifted powdered sugar
10 tablespoons butter, at room temperature
4 tablespoons milk (preferably whole)
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
sprinkles for decoration (optional)
food coloring (optional)

Combine milk and vanilla in a small bowl and set aside. Beat powdered sugar and butter in a mixer at medium-slow speed until well mixed. Reduce speed. Add milk mixture to the sugar mixture a few teaspoons at a time until all ingredients have been incorporated. Increase speed to high. Continue mixing for about 5 minutes or until the frosting becomes light and fluffy. Mix in food coloring to desired color, if desired.

Top the completely cooled cupcakes with the frosting and add sprinkles or decorations as desired.

*I apologize for how terrible these pictures are. Because rum.

Pumpkin Crumble Muffins

I found this recipe on a blog that I follow, High Altitude Bakes. I thought the muffins looked awesome, but then I realized that the recipe called for hazelnut - and I can't stand hazelnut (which is really unfortunately because I really love the idea of Nutella). I decided to modify the ingredients to my own liking, which was fortunate, because it turns out that both my MIL and SIL don't care for hazelnut either. I was nervous about the results, since the original recipe calls for 1/2 cup of ground hazelnut. A HALF CUP! Yikes. Fortunately, my modifications worked out just fine.

On Christmas morning, my husband and I got up early to make breakfast for his family. He did most of the work, but I did contribute these muffins. And these awesome outfits:

My FIL ate one of the muffins the night before, which I found out while I was arranging the muffins on the tray for our buffet breakfast. I would love to say that the design was on purpose, but it was purely by happy accident.

The amount of crumble made for this recipe is enough for 2 batches so I saved the leftover crumble and made these New Years Day. They were so good still warm from the oven that when we ate them throughout the week we heated them up in the microwave.

Pumpkin Crumble Muffins

Crumble:
1 stick butter
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 cup flour
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

In a saucepan, melt butter. Add sugars, flour and spices. Mix until flour is moistened and mixture presses easily into crumbs. This makes enough for two batches, so you can refrigerate the leftovers and use the next time (or for something else).

 Muffins:

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/3 cup canola oil

1 cup canned pumpkin

2 eggs

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon ground cloves

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cup sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350. Grease muffin tin (12 count). Combine flour, baking powder and baking soda in a medium bowl. In a mixer, mix together oil, pumpkin, eggs, spices, sugar and vanilla. Fold in the dry ingredients until just combined. Place batter into muffin tin in equal portions. Cover with crumb mixture. Bake for 15-22 minutes or until the tops spring lightly when touched.

An Awesome Experience

I don't normally stray from my baking related posts, unless there is something personal I want to share with the world. But recently, PETA has been making defamatory claims against an organization I have visited, and I felt the need to chime in with my own experience with the organization.

In June, I had the opportunity to check out the amazing wildlife rescue, Serenity Springs. I was blown away by this place. They specialize in big cats, but did have some other animals - a wolf, bears. The animals were very well cared for. We spent an hour walking around the facility, hearing the back story on almost every animal. The volunteer conducting the tour was extremely informative and professional, but you could really tell she truly loved the animals.

There were many different types of stories as to how the animals ended up at Serenity Springs. Some of the cats had been adopted by families thinking they were cute when they were little, only to realize later that they, you know, turn into real tigers when they grow up. For others, this place was like a really awesome retirement home after they'd been part of magic performances. There were even a couple of retired actors in the mix. And a liger. It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed....bred for its skills in magic.

What really struck me was how content all of the animals were. None seemed agitated or aggressive or unhappy. They were well fed and did not show signs of missing fur. Obviously, I am no expert, but I have a pretty good gauge on what abused animals look and act like. Last year, one of the only things I wanted to do at the Renaissance Festival was ride an elephant, it was all I talked about for weeks. Once at the festival, I walked over to the elephants and they looked so sad and miserable I couldn't go through with it.

One of PETA's biggest complaints is that Serenity Springs allows the handling of baby animals at too young an age. According to USDA there is no age minimum for the handling of animals. All I know, is that one of my biggest joys of last year was getting to hold a sweet 5 week old baby tiger named Bentley. Before I was able to handle the cub, I was asked to wash my hands and was briefed on how to properly handle and hold him. And the amount of my contact was no more than a minute or two.

Maybe PETA's claims are founded; I don't know. As I said before, I am no expert. I do know that I had a wonderful experience there and I have encouraged others to visit as well, and they too, have had an favorable time. I even found out after my visit that my father-in-law had donated money some time ago to pay for an enclosure.

Okay, thanks for reading. I'll step off my soapbox and get back into the kitchen now.

Drop Sugar Cookies

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...as it should, I suppose, since it is, in fact, Christmas Eve.

When I was a kid I would go to my Godmother's house to bake cookies with her for Christmas. I always loved baking with her because she always did "fancy" stuff. Also, because she actually let me help, unlike when I baked with my mom, who let me help by cleaning (although I did get to lick the beaters).

I carried the tradition on myself for years, but it's been quite some time since I've spent the day baking a billion cookies and making deliveries to friends and family. I had wanted to reignite the tradition this year with some friends, but it didn't work on account of being an adult is busy. Hopefully next year!

One of the most common Christmas cookie (as far as I'm concerned) is the sugar cookie so I decided I would at the very least make these for the holidays. Seeing as though I thought they were so popular, I was shocked to find that there wasn't a single sugar cookie recipe in any of my four of my high altitude baking books. Thankfully, the interwebs exist and I was able to find a very awesome recipe. I chose drop cookies instead of the cute cooking cutter type cookies because I've never really had much luck with them (but maybe I'll try again, one of these days.

These cookies were really simple and very delicious. Hubby doesn't want me to make these again because he couldn't stop eating them.

Drop Sugar Cookies

3 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 cup butter, cut into pieces
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
colored sugar

Preheat oven to 350.

Line baking sheets with parchment paper.

Combine flour, salt, baking powder and nutmeg in a small bowl. In a mixer, cream together butter and sugar. Add eggs and vanilla and mix until smooth. Slowly add flour mixture, a little at a time, until everything is well combined.

Set aside for 15 minutes.

Roll into 1-inch size balls. Roll top in colored sugar and flatten a bit. Place 1 1/2 inches apart on baking sheet.

Bake 10-12 minutes.

Spiced Pumpkin Bars

I've been saving posting about these because they have kind-of been my secret weapon. I've been told by more than one person that these are the best thing in my arsenal of goodies. One friend had this to say, "I want you to make these every week. I don't care if it's summer."

On a side note, when I bake my kitten/cat (I'm not sure what he is at the point, he's like 6ish months) has learned that I'm a klutz and will most likely spill something at sometime, so he has started to take residence at my feet hoping to hit pay dirt (he usually does).

His name is NOT Starbucks, because he was named after the most delicious coffee maker in the world. Burn.

Back to my ace in the hole...the bar part is very quick and easy to make but I find the icing to be a little cumbersome, but I think that's mostly because I don't like have to stand over the stove stirring. I may bake, but I certainly prefer easier recipes. But this one is so good I'm willing to suck it up and be a "real" baker. Sometimes the icing get a little sticky and hard to manage, so you need to be quick about getting it on the bars or you'll have a mess to deal with.

I got this recipe from my ever handy favorite baking book.

Spiced Pumpkin Bars

1 2/3 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
3/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup pumpkin puree

Preheat oven to 375.

Combine flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, cloves and ginger in a bowl. In a mixer, combine sugar, oil, eggs, vanilla and pumpkin. Add flour mixture a little at a time, until everything is mixed well. Spread batter into a greased 9x13 inch glass baking dish. Bake for 15-20. Cool slightly and then add spiced frosting (recipe to follow). Once completely cooled, cut into bars and remove from pan.

Spice Frosting

1/4 cup packed brown sugar
3 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons milk
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup sifted powder sugar

Combine sugar, butter, milk, cinnamon, ginger and cloves in a saucepan. Cook on medium-low heat and stir constantly. Once mixture bubbles, remove from heat and stir in vanilla. Slowly beat in powdered sugar until mixture is a spreading consistency.